Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Youve got to spend some time with me love, i will possess your heart <3

im sitting in the cafiteria for the first timethis year trying to consume this horrible soup i purcahsed for lunch. at work today me ane eric were in the studio and he put on i will posess your heart, and it made me think, those lyrics. and when you sang them in the car, did it mean something. yes now i do know. weezer in a week and a half, haa you say some super cute things. i like getting comfertable just talking. the class countdown has begun. 20 minutes and i just saw corey. i wish somehow we havet lost our friendship living toether is great i just dont have any time. anf its hard to try to juggle everything and keep people happy. i dont think its all possible.

im going to be peter pan for halloween and i think its going to be great.

that soup made me feel really sick.
i really should study more
or sleep

one or the other would be fantastic


Monday, September 29, 2008

it wont go the way it should but i know the heart of life is good

ive been listing too too much john mayer. life seems to slowly be falling appart and holding its self together all at once. how did i ever get here. im so afraid, where are my problems. do i deserve to be this happy?

forever ago this blog was about hate and how i wanted people i could never have, like the best part of a depressing movie. but now im at the end of my happy movie. since when do i get happy endings. i just cant help but think that things could go terribly wrong.

i have to pretend certian eyes dont see this to even write it

but me and stuart had sex and well yes. it wasent planned really but on an afternoon while family guy played in the background we had sex for the first time.
which is very cute becuase you watch girly movies in the morning time when i cant sleep, and we go for coffee and talk.

how can i be this happy? idk but i shouldnt deny myself of it becuase im enjoying every bit of it

Saturday, September 27, 2008

last night i turned 19

ok once again i woke up in a mess. my underwear is indise out and i had 9 empty cooler bottels in my trunk. im really enjoying what i have. its really great. i was a mess last night and im sorry you drove me home, you really didnt have to. i dont want you to get sick of me, like you said. that scares me, but this whole thing did. i feel elctric when we kiss. and im proud to hold you in public. i have this feeling im going to be consuming alot of water, and wanting to be going back to sleep very soon. haha yes starbucks card! and sex and the city! and tea light things and just a fun time singing. i was just so sleepy. i have no idea why i thought we were at your house.

i was just really drunk. lol.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

look in my mouth

some people need a big kick in the ass, and they diserve it. if only steve t was around becuase i know hed scare the bloddy shit out of sandy. so now im in u house working on my print media work and talking online, i wish life could go back to being simple. you still make me smile hen i think about things and ive got a lot of work to do tonight since i let my homework at home which sucks, ihave to do alot of stuff tonight, allong with tomorow. hey its not easy being a person that does these things. things will be ok i promise even if its not for right now.

Monday, September 22, 2008


my sharpie just dryed out, so i put the cap back on hoping it might rehydrate in a few minutes for me to do somoe more work. but im highly doubt full that this trick will work. this lyno buiness is a bitch. and i dont want to do anymore work, but thats not an option right now. as much as i would want it to be. ive got 4 days!! hahahaha. i hate drawing in negative form its not as fun as it could be and i dont think this ear looks very natural. sort of crooked. i think she should have been a blond but thiers not any going back now. UGHHHH I WANT TO BE IRRISOPISBLE GUGJGJDGDSNGSDKGNSDGKGNDKNGKDSGNKGSDNGKDGN

fuck this adlut hood thing

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Coffee in the city

yesterday, was amazing other than the urine. we went for coffee and you got two AE sweaters, they both look good. we spent an hour looking at the ocean, i dont know where the day went. but you holding my hand the whole time might have helped let the day slip away.

we went threw gas town and took this couples picture. im not allowed to talk to the homeless people, and there are so many run stores down their.

and yes your bed is amazing, i never had a doubt.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


changing my staut's is akward. i mean we had the talk, but i didnt want to not change it, but i also did, so its ok. were telling people now, he said it had been a month of us not saying anything about it. anf that he didnt know what to tell people while it rained outside shoppers drugmart.

im not sleepy at all. but i need to sleep before today.

im happy but idk.

only time will tell

Friday, September 19, 2008

whars my age again

who's kidding. my mom knows, and your mom knows. i like breakfast's and movies and going out and sleeping in your arms.

oh no its the nature of the experiment.

i feel a whole lot better

Thursday, September 18, 2008

to an old friend

i cant explian how i feel but i wish now this is that thing i regret in my life

trusting people

and that is horrible. i dont think ill be able to after this go back to telling people things about me, it makes me wonder how much would you do to make me life hell. weather you did or didnt know, that doest make anything acceptable.

i never thought id loose my faith in people, but i have

ill never forgive you.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

some how it brought us closer together

ill find out for sure tomorow


i knew this would follow me for the rest of my life

but why

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

i'd rather be with you

what if i told you i haven't been alone in a while

ive been missing in this whirlwind. i lost that complicated solitary Sydney.

The truth is i'm so afraid of failure. how could i deal with it. i had been oblivious till Saturday what i might be doing could go somewhere and i wasen't just going to be some girl. the idea that i might let someone in is frighting. mostly the only time i get alone in a day is when i drive to school or home. when i dont have to talk to people i can just listen to music. i need to be doing my homework, but i cant im blocked up somehow. i think i need to make music,but i dont have the strength. i gave that up a long time ago sadly.

why cant i let happyness into my life

im more like lina than i thought, but ill push past it. i know i can

Sunday, September 14, 2008

ive decided from now on

my buissness is mine, and im not going to be sharing it all over, espically to drunk people who talk abotu it to them.

missy your a fucker. lol, you guys were warming p that car for a long ass time.

cars are uncomfertable.

i forgot what it was liek to have secrets and keep them

im just worried, what fi i messed things up, dosent seem like it at all, but a girl cant help but wonder


im amazing and ive got the hickes to prove it


Saturday, September 13, 2008

ive decided

i think ive decided i need this bed. its not too big i think only a doubble. 13 days so two weeks to yesterday is going to be my nineteenth birthday. i love love love that black sweater.

fuck haha my blogs have gotten all sappy

my girl side has to show

but i like it when you rub my leg under the table and we can told hands in brittanys bed. its sort of electrifying. even when we kiss i still get that jolt. im excited when you do things that make me feel special. when we hold hands in the video store.

i think you'd be amazingly happy if i got this bed. and i could sleep better too.

Friday, September 12, 2008

time past

i cant say anything. im sorry i got off the phone with you last night. i should have realized what you needed. ill never be one of those girls who ignore their friends for someone. my lips hurt and you fucked up my hair its 20 minutes till class and im not to sure if i can still learn. i dont think i can sleep very well in a twin sized bed.

dont give up. you can find a better love.

all i know is right now its up to him, and the beat is outside the glass doors outside of this room. i know i dont look very attractive rght now, and i need to go home and have a shower and then go come back here and go to A and R. to register.. that is if its open. sigh i guess i should go to class.

im sorry
well talk after i go to school.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

i got cupcakes on my pants, i dont want to study. im nevious about tomorow. alot. it makes me sick just thinking about it, missy is singing some song off of a phone here beside and a jay. my nose ring is hella tichy at all times. i need to do my reading and clean tongiht and have a shower. somethings are just made to work out in life. and i have to choose 5 for my phone so i have to see who i call the most. im happy and i think everyonecan be too. and even thoght i had to get up earleyr then ushaul this mornig it was worth it. im always tired its something ill just have to get used to. my knee till hurts like a bitch.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Fuck you and your fuckign shit stay away from us

oh my fucking god,

really ill kill you.. no joke.

so now i have to do my homework and try to not thinkg about how if you do what you say you will..
beleive me youll pay for anything

Monday, September 8, 2008

i can too

whenever i drive home on south fraser during the day i always see these people in trench coats. i dont know what beign around staples and being a low income person and having a tranch coat is about but its all the rage. haha heck when you smile. idk. stop bugging me abou tit or i wont tel you guys anythng anymore. this computer is super hot and is burning my leg, times are a changing kids. wahtever i need to do my homework asap lol and shit i have to get up at 6:30 ughhhhh another day at school and this week just started

Sunday, September 7, 2008

who'd have know

oh man, ive got the shivers and you just went home. i cant say how like happy i am,

i like it when you tickle/rub my chest, and when you hold my hand on the chesrerfelid. i like it when you hold my hand and we watch movies, i liek it when im sleeping but your still holding me everything its boiling hot.

i like how you still make out with me when im on the phone with my mom.

im so unbeleivablly happy.

who'd have known
:) <3

Friday, September 5, 2008

kiss me under the stars or in my bed ethier way hook up with me

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

you could be happy

i like.

i like the way you smell, and the secen you leave on my pillows.

fuck you make me laugh

things dont have to be complicated if you can be happy

Monday, September 1, 2008

im tired

last night i slept for about 2 and a half hours maybe 3. you wouldnt let me sleep. some people have twisted brains. i havr to start my second year in the morning and im not stoaked, oh dang i dont have change for the parking thing. i like running my fingers threw your hair right before i sleep, and i like it when our legs intertwine. i want you to do it, dont just look at me and smile/ i think my bed is broken at that end. it makes loud noises of you step on it or roll on it. i havent had pants this tight i think since grade 9 or 10.

Youve got to spend some time with me. i know that youll find love, i will possess your heart.

i love those lyrics.

i think its very idk, i like it when you touch me. and i like touching you. i think if you read this out of context i sound like a big slut, but i mean the touch of the hand or on the neck or back.im ready to go to bed like now. and my knee really fucking hurts from wrestling and sitting like that to watch kill bill, no more streaming on this slow internet.

i will possess your heart