i guess i havent taken any time to write here, or anything worthwhile, i do miss my blog that no one read, or secretly just did and i petended as if they didnt. i hope nothing else happens to my car tonight. it looks like ill be playing baseball against chatelle, interesting. i really do wish i were sleeping, the last two days has gone so fast and im almost done unpacking. ive got alot to do tomorow. i just wish it were easier. i cant sleep and i want water. it turns out beer and ginger ail is good together who would have known if me and christina and corey hadnet have tryied it out. im just glad the whole moving heavy stuff is all done, and all it cost me was 178 bucks and a case of beer.
i fucking have no words, and I'm madder than i seem. its going to be super sweet trying to drive to school on the freeway. fuckers. they got both of us. mines worse but still, 300 dollars i have right now but thats almost like working for a month or a month's worth of rent. i fucking love my life.
its finally good. you know when you hit the bottom. i guess the bottom is shaped like a bag because im slipping back up. things here are almost done but i forgot to take the trash out again. im a bad person i guess for that. i like my gummy packets
terrible person or evaluative thinker? i really am stuck in this werid vibe place. i need a few things. i think for the next few weeks i need to go back and do what i love. eventhough you mean alot to me i feel like ive lost something by doing this. ive found im less fun less adventurus, and is it just that im stressed and gorwing up and tired? or is it the fact that its you. no offenxe but i need stuff too and i cant keep doing everything you need, or want. its like if im going to shave my legs your going to shave your face. where is the effort? i need some. i need you to pull a big one out of the bag becuase its true i dont want to be anywhere but in your arms. but the other night you couldnt hear it in my voice or see it in my face. its almost like im searching for hurt. did you change me or did i change myself, becuase i dont want this to be over but i need something new. maybe its just the time or the weather but i want to go to the beach on friday and you can come if you want. ill be on the sand. some times i do just go to the beach. i know if i needd you and i was crying youd come but where were you.
i need you to want me love me and need me, and i think its time to become more separate of people for now. no more schedule.
and if your juding me by reading this stop reading my blogs.
what is life without its problems. i need to buy gesso. and i need to fix my color chart, fucking hand mixed colours. i had this disscussion today about social services for over half an hour with a man who clames he can spend 10 dollars a week. must be nice, he says a job cost's him money in the long run to get their so its more than its worth, btu he also dosent belive in government funding like for poor people. that's why he can live on his freshly picked pecans. he can keep those for him self. i wish i could ive on ten dollars a week, but see lifes not that easy if you want to be sucessfull.
i cant find the right thing to wear. ugh. that drive home this morning was horrible. i feel so sick its not cool and last night i felt so bad i couldnt even drive and my phone died im so glad i only have my wall charger but not at all. fuck. i can tell this day is going to be full of joy, and why cant i find any eye liner around. its so cold in this house open mouth . its like eating glass. im not in the mood to be asked questions by a professior. im also stressed out ill be at work alone, ok so i get their in 15 to 20 minutes then i go put my lunch away and then go to school, boy i am not stoaked.
ok so apparently their is this guy who can put half his head in this womans vagina HALF>>>>>>? ok so i saw a photo. also its baller cold in here. and me and corey are moving to our new place as on January 31st bitchezzz. yeah no matter what you want you fuckers. not you guys my landlord/Michelle i wish she would like electrocute herself. fuck my life