Saturday, November 29, 2008

just jump in what have you got to loose

whats the point really in using a communal blog if we don't all use it. idk i guess im just saying. i have this need to go swimming, and i've had it for a while, but the instinct only seems to grow stronger when it rains. i want to be able to walk so badly, ive just got to tell myself 5 more weeks till i can then lol im going to go tubing the next week! idk im just sick of being stuck here around. its not that i cant go out, its just hard to. i can only wait, it will make me want to make Saturdays into adventure days. i've always wanted to do the grouse grind, and i want to do it this spring. just more adventuring i think and less drinking, not thats its bad i just used to have a a lot of a better time without having all my activity's biased on drinks. im not voiding it out of my life, just not as much anymore. i guess thats is what the dorm was for it sort of ran me dry or drinking every week twice a week.

Friday, November 28, 2008

my feet are cold

i dont know whats wrong with me or why i repeatedly apologize for something i didnt do, but i did just not to you. i guess i felt guilty for calling you an ass when all you did was do everything for me. i guess i just felt like a bad person. so now im going to try to be better.not let the pain get to me and change things. i need to work on my work soon. as soon as i get back from school today i will. ill start my half face portrait and my collage, im just dreading the drawing he said i could hand in my portfolio on tuesday. lucky me

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


i went to sleep early, my leg pains woke me up, i dont know what to do becuase all i want to do is cry and have this all be over with.

Monday, November 24, 2008

i just want to leave this room

no one understands, and im going crazy. i need out. its been 3 days, and she has no idea. i wish this misery would end, somehow i don't think its going to be possible. i just want out.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

no more

i cant do this i dont want to, can i go back in time and reverse this. or can you change your attitude and make my life less of a living hell

Saturday, November 22, 2008


ive been up all night it seems but i woke up at one nad couldent breathe, so i sat up in an instant couhed out whatever was in my lungs but in the process jerked up so igh i hurt my leg. the pain is making me sweat, i dont know mow much more of this i can take

Friday, November 21, 2008

heres a great idea

i'd like it if i didnt have pain. i dont want to be a complainer at all this time but its so hard, i sort of forgot. its going to be a rough few weeks, but things will get better and for tonight landons doing a great job with my surprise home from the hospital party. thanks

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

im sick of trying

today i need to do a million things and i dont have time to play one of your games, you dont want to talk to me, then dont. i dont have time to play with your little games. SO GROW UP, i cant deal with this ammmount of stress from this. what ever fuck you guys.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


this is why living at home is so much more easy.. this makes me consider corey as a room mate forever that she can treat people like this and then leave and not care. and how to tolerate people, im not sure if in the future i want to subject any of my friends or relationships to that volitile behavior again. lets see if she can grow up in an instant becuase this is what real life it like. so grow up respect other people and i hope this all to fucking god works out

Monday, November 17, 2008

its not what you say its how you say it. i think that's the premise of life. maybe things don't mean to be said, but threw the subconscious they do. maybe its the fact that i feel as if the only way people say what they actually feel is when you have to search to find it. if the truth is what you seek. i haven't found it. im not unhappy your happy im just upset that sometimes people feel as if they are entitled to be better and feel better than i do at all times.
You cant be happy in life. apparently its not good for anyone. so just be unhappy and everyone else will be so much more satisfied with their lives.

unless you know when we decide to grow up and all be happy for eachother.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

i guess

i wasent expecting it and it kind of ruined the whole thing. we had the perfect day and edwn ranrand would be hilarious. maybe i shouldnt ask thouse questions i want answer's to. im not expcexting to leave but i thought you be like yeah if i did. when you pick out or middle name or blend it it seems fuckecd up you wouldnt be able to handel that, so i guess i runined it for myself. maybe in just in this for the something. i have no idea. maybe im just as fucked up as i want to be. i have no intention on charging my phone.
wahy does not one up date... really. theirs no point.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Eager Ego

Lots to explain, but i'm glad we both feel the same way. you said you've never felt like this before. and i haven't ether. I'm happy. even though we had to be sad. oh well

in love. by ~poop-art on deviantART

Sunday, November 9, 2008

2 months

so today is two months, no big deal but strange nun the least. i just love spending time with you, lolll. so two weeks. man surgery time. but this saturday is a day trip to Victoria!! i sort of cant wait <3 youve made this all worth it. all i can smell is cupcakes

Saturday, November 8, 2008

dang, i love my bed

i love returning to my bed. Sam got a lot of secrets last night. no more long island iced teas in my life time, at least not triples.

Friday, November 7, 2008

so here we are

im really tired. im trying to suppress somevsort of emotion and i cant difrentuate things from day to day or when they happened anymore. another day another time. im not going to make a big deal about anniversarys anymore. or talk about those things in which you dont want to. sometimes i really wonder what were doing. our lives don't mesh, somehow we just make then blend together for a certain amount of time. on gosh maybe im just in a slump god i feel like throwing up.

Thursday, November 6, 2008


we lost one. and at the worst time too. she needed us more than anything else to be their and understand. i guess life's just shitty that way sometimes and im sorry things had to go this way. love you always.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

oh god. for ten minutes i decided not to go, then i dismissed my fear and im going to go to class, ive got somehting to print and hand in today. i havent got the right paper becuase of my lack of planning, but what the hell. ive got to go to school now and face my fate oh hell.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

i knew it was you

i let you in. and we both know thats a big deal. ive got a lot in this now. were both afraid. i cant deny that. i think we both know its not any short time sort of thing. which is scary for both of us. i just want to be in that place forever. it was worth the jump, becuase without it i never would have found this.