whats the point really in using a communal blog if we don't all use it. idk i guess im just saying. i have this need to go swimming, and i've had it for a while, but the instinct only seems to grow stronger when it rains. i want to be able to walk so badly, ive just got to tell myself 5 more weeks till i can then lol im going to go tubing the next week! idk im just sick of being stuck here around. its not that i cant go out, its just hard to. i can only wait, it will make me want to make Saturdays into adventure days. i've always wanted to do the grouse grind, and i want to do it this spring. just more adventuring i think and less drinking, not thats its bad i just used to have a a lot of a better time without having all my activity's biased on drinks. im not voiding it out of my life, just not as much anymore. i guess thats is what the dorm was for it sort of ran me dry or drinking every week twice a week.
i dont know whats wrong with me or why i repeatedly apologize for something i didnt do, but i did just not to you. i guess i felt guilty for calling you an ass when all you did was do everything for me. i guess i just felt like a bad person. so now im going to try to be better.not let the pain get to me and change things. i need to work on my work soon. as soon as i get back from school today i will. ill start my half face portrait and my collage, im just dreading the drawing he said i could hand in my portfolio on tuesday. lucky me
ive been up all night it seems but i woke up at one nad couldent breathe, so i sat up in an instant couhed out whatever was in my lungs but in the process jerked up so igh i hurt my leg. the pain is making me sweat, i dont know mow much more of this i can take
i'd like it if i didnt have pain. i dont want to be a complainer at all this time but its so hard, i sort of forgot. its going to be a rough few weeks, but things will get better and for tonight landons doing a great job with my surprise home from the hospital party. thanks
today i need to do a million things and i dont have time to play one of your games, you dont want to talk to me, then dont. i dont have time to play with your little games. SO GROW UP, i cant deal with this ammmount of stress from this. what ever fuck you guys.
this is why living at home is so much more easy.. this makes me consider corey as a room mate forever that she can treat people like this and then leave and not care. and how to tolerate people, im not sure if in the future i want to subject any of my friends or relationships to that volitile behavior again. lets see if she can grow up in an instant becuase this is what real life it like. so grow up respect other people and i hope this all to fucking god works out
its not what you say its how you say it. i think that's the premise of life. maybe things don't mean to be said, but threw the subconscious they do. maybe its the fact that i feel as if the only way people say what they actually feel is when you have to search to find it. if the truth is what you seek. i haven't found it. im not unhappy your happy im just upset that sometimes people feel as if they are entitled to be better and feel better than i do at all times.
i wasent expecting it and it kind of ruined the whole thing. we had the perfect day and edwn ranrand would be hilarious. maybe i shouldnt ask thouse questions i want answer's to. im not expcexting to leave but i thought you be like yeah if i did. when you pick out or middle name or blend it it seems fuckecd up you wouldnt be able to handel that, so i guess i runined it for myself. maybe in just in this for the something. i have no idea. maybe im just as fucked up as i want to be. i have no intention on charging my phone.
so today is two months, no big deal but strange nun the least. i just love spending time with you, lolll. so two weeks. man surgery time. but this saturday is a day trip to Victoria!! i sort of cant wait <3 youve made this all worth it. all i can smell is cupcakes
im really tired. im trying to suppress somevsort of emotion and i cant difrentuate things from day to day or when they happened anymore. another day another time. im not going to make a big deal about anniversarys anymore. or talk about those things in which you dont want to. sometimes i really wonder what were doing. our lives don't mesh, somehow we just make then blend together for a certain amount of time. on gosh maybe im just in a slump god i feel like throwing up.
we lost one. and at the worst time too. she needed us more than anything else to be their and understand. i guess life's just shitty that way sometimes and im sorry things had to go this way. love you always.
oh god. for ten minutes i decided not to go, then i dismissed my fear and im going to go to class, ive got somehting to print and hand in today. i havent got the right paper becuase of my lack of planning, but what the hell. ive got to go to school now and face my fate oh hell.
i let you in. and we both know thats a big deal. ive got a lot in this now. were both afraid. i cant deny that. i think we both know its not any short time sort of thing. which is scary for both of us. i just want to be in that place forever. it was worth the jump, becuase without it i never would have found this.