Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Call me a reckless recking ball

i have so many directionality's it seems. i burnt my inner arm with my straighter tonight and it hurts like a mother fucking bitch. i wish i could rewind becuase ever since this new semester has started i've been unhappy as fuck. work takes up too much time. school work dosen't get done, my grades aren't great becuase i don't do the work. i dont even expect a c on my portfolio midterm becuase i didn't even complete all the color charts needed. i wish i lived in America with a pair of pay less shoes. i wish i could rewind even past when school started. those nights id just go out at midnight to walk around and wind up laying in my lawn listing to music.

im exhausted all the time from running here and their, and doing things for people all day long. my parents are unhappy i wont become a teacher. theirs no where i can go where i don't see pictures of you really. and i think its my mood is effecting things. i wouldn't blame you for not answering me if the tables were turned. Its like ive accomplished so much but i feel like i'm worse off then ever and going no where. now i realize why we get summer off. but now i've committed to this house for the summer so im going to go to school all summer and be ahead credit wise. maybe im mad becuase you'd rather play wow or see a stupid head cog then come over here. or maybe i'm mad becuase it feels like all i do is come to you and you never make an effort to come here anymore. This is the time when i need my other dysfunctional half. becuase you don't understand.

i wish school didnt exsist. i know part of the problem is that i know i have to do this for 2 more years to do almost nothing with it ive convinced myself.

1 comment:

Missy said...

You know that school thing that sucks up all your time, effort and love for the human race? I hate it too sometimes. My midterm grades suck, and I haven't had time to do homework in god knows how long. I feel your frustrations my friend. Sigh.