the clock is ticking but i cant sleep. come on, let me in. there are too many things i try to controll or fix. idk what time im going to be able to get to sleep. it bugs me that i dont know, and that somehow i might be at the root of the problem. the reality of the whole situation is that we all need to grow up a little more. i cant fix everyone and i have to learn to accept it. time is still going to tick by, but once and a while we should all come back. who will love you? i think thats the ultimate question. we all love the idea of love or a relationship, but not the reality. its so much to risk getting hurt in the first place not many people want to anymore, i think my music is too loud for 2 am. the idea seems nice and maybe the feeling of someone close or to lean on but not the downs or fights. mostly i think i was just searching for someone that was going to be there, and the truth is not anyone can be there all the time, its just you kid. we can all change our clothes and our hair but truly when it comes right down to it, we don't change that much in the core. the truth is harder to face then your own lies.
i hate the words "but they dont know". who are we hiding ourselves from? its been a really cold night and idk anymore. i past the point of anger and ventured into this new place. how does it seem that the only time things happen is when i complain or make them. it dosent have to be for me, its for you or everyone. there are alot of secrets in life, and i have many of my own. there isnt truly one person who knows every little detail, i think the time had long past of those days. were only one person. i dont hide things, i just dont say them. how nice it must be to hear that, such reassurance. i know its break point time, lets just let it pass, hey tomorow im going back to school wow crazy time. yay for talking and explaining everything we want to in person, and for movies we just talk threw, yay. i miss you already.