cant stand it

the way things go you get so low and struggle to find your skin. look out below becuase your prayers will never be answered again. my phone is dead what a surprise, its such a peice. im so tired. my mom called em at 8 05 and was like sydney why is their dead air. and that is when i realized i had never woken up to go to work. so i made it here at 8:30 in flipflops in an artic wind storm. fuck its cold outside. then their wad no parking near where i needed to be so i just paid the 3 50 to park in the lot. its going to be one of those days im sure. and ive got to leave class early to go to the dentist for a cleaning, hell im not stoaked. i had a dream that on friday night me amber brittany stuart chantelle john some other guys and kevynn went to this bowling alley that was like the size of an indoor water slide park, and i got lost in the green secion but they were in the red section it was that huge. and my phone died but i had facebook so i communicated with chantelle to where everyone was, but then people kept asking em howto get to everyone else but i was so lost alone in an arcade it want a good dream.

all my make up, it has washed off

i love surprise tours, only not really. ugh im so tired and so sick of studying. in two days is my art history midterm and im pretty sure that im not going to do well. so much shit at work. im so tired i wish after this midterm it was all over but its not. i have 4 paintings due on the monday all of which should esimatly take about 20 hours at the most i hope. then i can colapse after that. i really would just skip my midterm if i could. rest is comming soon, sort of.

ugh

thats it i guess

carefull confessions

whats happening here. why don't i care. why do i forget. it makes no sense. i was so driven and im sure im going to start hating work. im so torn. i like structure and plans they help me in life. but you don't like them apparently at all. i cant read through your words. all i really wanted was to be happy and i got their i mastered it. who writes books about dysfuntional people that cant figure their own shit out. ill be your broken person. somehow its almost midnight and im not tired allover again.

and off a tottaly diffrent topic im so mad at you. you feel so loved when you send people text messages and never get responses. it really makes you not ever want to send them. or how about mail. you send someone mail but then they never send you anything but yet want you to send something else. im sick of being peoples dropp matt. fuck off ok. if you want people around in your life you need to make the effort or reply. thos dosent mean i dont want to be your friend one day but this excusive club youve made is limiting your own options, and i dont want to loose something while we arent talking. i find when it comes to you im the winner of cards i cant play. i was ready to come to you. i had all the money i had everything.