i am the jauggernaught

sometimes i hit system preferences or calender rather than text and it pisses me off. i dont know why im not sleeping yet. i wonder if im still wailisted. i am still in waitlist position 2 and 5 for art. i dont know if ill get in. my eyes are tired. i wish my midnight was other peoples midnights. my own bed. nice. my ankel still hurts and things have been fliped upside down. i havent had time yet to breath, and maybe its how im still moving. i dont want to end my childhood so sooon. i want to have what i have now. im always worried if i made the wrong desicions. it dosent matter to anyone but me. lifes much to complicated. after this im going upstairs to bed. i just fell sleep sitting here i soul dmsake the journy to bed, its getting their thats the problem.

i wanted to say thank you for that.

this song makes me cry. i dont want to loose in this game. but its like i lost already. hear you me my friend. everything will be ok. its better. why cant the music go louder, i need louder. i need alot of things im not getting right now.its not like i cant fucking sleep. im wide awake and its 6 hours till morning. i wasent expecting this poison to seep threw all this sweetness. i feel so done. i cant breath. i need to get the fuck out of here. i need the fuck out bad. im pretty fucking bitter.

home again same time

somehow im going to get very mad i think. i dont think its fair, but it cant be about me. its just eh point where its not about what your doing, its about what your doing it for. im so tired, no sleep all the time. i dont know what to do but this and its good. i need you.

im on your portch even if it is alone

its 3 am and im home. theirs no love liek appathy, haha fucking yes water stacked wresiling, i havent had so much fun in a pool for a while. im knee hurts though. and my hair is all gross. we actually made plans for friday and saturday! im surprised. im happy, in the way some things are. in other ways i have no idea what to do or where im at or anything. i have 3 compleetly diffrent situations going on. what i know is that these headphones were blown long ago, just why arent they in the trash. here now i sit, thinking about everything. im just glad it was fun. im more than glad.