i need

i think ive got something wrong inside, but its nothing a coffee cant fix i think. its stress and it makes me want to sleep all day and not go to class. ill see you again tomorow. im wearign a scarf but i know its hot outside. i just dont want to do anything, but work or hang out, i lost my drive. and it dosent help my mom is trying to pressure me into being a teacher, i really think i need to be an artist, i mean i dont have the drive to do anythign else.. or even anything. i need to be motivated to do well. becuase im screweing myself over.

im scared shitless. about you and me. you want me to open up and im trying its just hard. all i can taste is soymilk. today at work i think im just going to process music. makes sense, i hope no ones in the studio. only 3 hours, i need more change. i need more money. i need more money really bad. im going to have to do something about it.