i could sit still for hours and think of nothing. nothing. its nothing now. acceptance. maybe that is where i am. i could sit in a room where no one knew my name and we were all silent i dontthink that would be a problem. why do i care. im tired of being tired. im tired of having nothing to show for two months. fuck jute boxes that are wrong. i just work allot andthen not at all. i dont know what i want, and i thought i did. their is this hungar in my stomach that is for something more. the light wont turn its self off i guess. i wish i knew. and fuck why the fuck. nothing can be me without it being someone else, i can see threw it and all of a sudden i started to turn work ing studying not just blind work.