the future hangs over our heads

i think about everythign alot, and i also am thinking about how i have to be up in 6 hours on the hour drive to school. why do i go back, and have to get up at 6 am? idk im crazy. i have alot of feelings swirling inside, and alot of the time im mad. i cant wait for this may trip, june camping. my throat is starting to hurt more, and my stomach less. i dont really know what to do anymore. i dont know how much ive got left. one more month. it will be ok. coreys comming back at the end of the month, its going to be good. i love how its my mom s birthday comming soon and also mothers day. its too hot in these blankets. i cant ask why anymore. its more like a how. idk what i missed out on but it wasent everything. its time for rest and im going to hate myself in the morning. and where did all of my clothes go to? like really i cant find anything. its the warp hole laundry room. i hate buying gas also. what time do they even open at in the morning and which one do i go to. whatever ill get gas in aldergrove. you'd think if you stopped responding to someone about their birthday they would stop when your not friends to beginn with. ive also got this huge decision to make. but really im wondering if i already have twice over and now if its fixable. i think im back to where i started. the finish line was out front and now ive got to run another lap. its like the things i cant fix have been at the same place for a long time and ive lost touch with them. i guess in 4 minutes its going to be tuesday and it hard becuase i dont recall what day my game is. i think tuesday so tomorow. lets hope to hell that this drama everywhere can end. i hope i find a better job that the one im leaving. i just need for everything to be alright. but im afraid that wont happen. im going to have to get up. i want to go to a lake. how do i take a mini vacation from my vacation. and i have no idea whats eating my money. idk at least i saved a hundred and fifty bucks last week. it all has to go to gas for sasqach. my grandparents leave for grece in a week, and i guess ive got to figure everything out my nose is hurting. why do i do things i dont want to. i feel like 45 becuase my back hurts like alot everyday. ughhhhhhloooooooooooo sigh

its replaceable and im not the favortie anymore
whatever harold and kumar my ass.
im sick of it.
and michells on saturday night. who knows friday, and the rest inbetween is work time.