review and now i forgot what it was like to get pumped up for a show. unrealistic things have been drifting, and whoa more insane dreams. ive got to get my news, and write it out on the pad, ive got to charge this laptop, ive also got to stop thinking. i went out today with Rebbecca and it just dort of reinforced how different we are now compared to the past. the only way i can make sure a playlist fits is if its too loud. ive got to listen to the whole thing arranged a few times. its devine how things have changed. i dont know what to do in this whirl wind of situations. im afraid again. really afraid. and so what i guess i didnt know what i was saying but still. and ive got the van all day tomorow and ive got to get up at 6 am, leave at 6:55 get gass, fun times, pick up missy, get food, go to the studio, get pumped< yes that is in their> finish show 20, then go record show 21 while i write up our preposal becuase missy does the music for the second one, then after that hour go and do our demo. yar then drive back to aldy or langley. eventually langley .eat lunch and call maggie, were suposed to be doing soething if her job dosent call her in, i bet it will be sushi and oh man i hate the van but whatever its independince for now. the thing only eats gas like a kid could eat candy if it had unlimited supply. i really need to take my mind off this. my rooms almost clean and idk. i think alot of things arent going so well. i wish i had all the answers or you would talk. and then i also wish other things could get better. im on my wn for dinner too i guess, its monday ugh i dont get paid for another 2 days. and i have to go find a new dress and shoes for sex in the city. the finance office said another few days before they get our things in the mail, then maybe once it comes i can get my tattoo.