Wednesday, December 17, 2008

so here we are

the down low. i hate my self so much right now. not for just one thing. i feel like i want to take that photo post it in my cupboard any time i want to eat. see here's the biggest deal. becuase of my surgery and my immobility ive gained more weight and i didn't think it was that bad till now. but here is the point of perfection i cant do a fucking thing about it. see i cant walk anywhere far, i cant run, i cant bend past 90 degree's i cant lean on it i cant be on my knees on the ground. no wonder really. i should have seen it earlier. their really is one thing i can do for now. all i got was a shock. i guess i just didn't see myself as being what i really am and i guess its killing more than just one thing.

and when you come in and tell me you dream of living alone what the fuck is the point of me being here at all then, fuck you and fuck the hell off all the time. im done here. you drive all your room mates into this state. nether one of you have left a shared living experience positively. and i don't care anymore. i don't think were really even friends anymore, we sure don't have fun. i don't see the point in exchanging anything anymore. any one a size extra small?

i guess im just fed up is all and im stuck here in the snow. i need out, i need out bad and its scary.

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