im sitting here rehashing old conversations and old ideas. What is this top friend business. since when did we rank people in our lives. if it didn't matter about this top friends thing why is it such a problem when we move up or down. the thing is someone can tell you something but then they place you 5th or 11th or anywhere and you dont matter. how. should we all be happy just to be someones top friend. im undecided. im a hole. and i dont know how to interpret things like this at all. im so sick of feeling wrong, and getting no response. im tired of wanitng 3 things in life ill never get. im so very tired. ive got misquto bites. i dont want to play these mind games, i dont desreve this trust. and i dont know what to do. my eyes need to close for a while.