Friday, March 28, 2008

fear is my demise

right now seems to be one of those moments when it makes sense, almost everything. summer is around the corner and once again change is on its way. i cant believe i have one week left of my freshman year here. time flew by. i want to go to the park, the thing is the rationalization does not fix things, and i wish it did. i tell myself every time, but it wont stick. when they said last summer would be my last childhood, i didn't believe them. but it was true, my last dash at it. things are so uncertain right now, still even with security i am questioning everything. i dont know what to do, and its as if i am stuck in a corner. sometimes i wonder if you can really see threw everything, because i cant hold it back. its not something i want to do, it just starts and i don't realize till afterward. and my stomach is turning thinking about it. i think you do know exactly what i want out of this. i cant breath anyways, and i cant change it.

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