right now seems to be one of those moments when it makes sense, almost everything. summer is around the corner and once again change is on its way. i cant believe i have one week left of my freshman year here. time flew by. i want to go to the park, the thing is the rationalization does not fix things, and i wish it did. i tell myself every time, but it wont stick. when they said last summer would be my last childhood, i didn't believe them. but it was true, my last dash at it. things are so uncertain right now, still even with security i am questioning everything. i dont know what to do, and its as if i am stuck in a corner. sometimes i wonder if you can really see threw everything, because i cant hold it back. its not something i want to do, it just starts and i don't realize till afterward. and my stomach is turning thinking about it. i think you do know exactly what i want out of this. i cant breath anyways, and i cant change it.