were all just waiting to die

tonight is just one of those nights where i cant sleep, idk what it is about it, but you just want to curl up and go to bed, but th loneliness all of a sudden gets to you, and eats you alive. i saved a total of 5 dollars and 8 cents according to the bill from the grocery store on my bed side table. i can laugh but reakky its not coming form the insides anymore. must i always be playing the fool, ill do the dance and sing the song, but really i cant be playing your fool. tonight just isnt mean for sleeping i don't think. they wont stop talking in the other room, but really my music just blocks it out somewhat. what if i did want to be that happy person i always wanted to be. what if i wasnent tired anymore, or was healthy? i admit im hard to handel but every dog has his day, sometimes i just wonder why. and then figure it out, i wish they would cut it out with the ball, the coughing just wont stop, and i just want to go to bed for once