i dont even know

ohhhhh dang. what the fuck just happened, i need to be at work at like 11:30. i need sleep and now my life is so much more complicated. i liked it before, but i also liked cuddling you, or you cuddling me. im not to sure. the time for sleep is now

simply anxious

ive drawn the line a long time ago, and i think i crossed it. i love sufjan stevens so much, i think i forgot for a while how good it was, or i was lookign for soemthing else. im missing you. alot. im biding my time, ans wondering hy you never text me. its a selfconsious thing i guess. i wish i made the right decisions. but that never happens. sigh i just got freaked out at for a dvd i lost but iv never seen it. i dont know why i wont show her this blog, i dont think its to hide me it to hide you. idk i guess i want myself to be a secrectof parts too. i dont know what this dvd deal is but im not involoed.


idk anymore i just get blamed for everything.


i just dont know

oh fucck

i dont see how or why or any reason, but i feel this way. im tired,

its a long long time away

im thinking of the actions of people and how they fit into society. how do somepeople think certian things are ok. do i fit this perfect mould of normalcy. how do people now that the things that they are doing arent ok but contiune to do so. how much can someone stray from the pack. or are we meant to do so. i cant let everything out. i need something. anything. id do anything to be where i wanted to. how am i this person. why am i up, i have to be back up in 7 hours. whenevery i cry i get this streak of eyeliner on my arm. ew i looked at the tv at the worst time. its day ten. and my back hurts alot. liek all the time. and y mom is going away for a week. i got a twenty for gas and food. bt at least i get paid on thursday. and whats with men and their trucks i dont get it. id rather be happy then see your new truckk.all the things i want in someone are in someone else i aldreay have but dont want. im getting sucked into this unreal realiity. i dont want to do this whoel adult thing again. im stuck. and i want a shower, sigh 6 am you are my bain