Two years later.

Here it is a letter to you.

I wish you could have seen this earlier. at this point you are bitter about all of the shit that went down and you cant trust anyone. fuck. Here you are a student with all of the opportunity, and you are just exploring life. Little did you know that after graduation things would be terrible both emotionally and economically. You learned your P's and Q's and now you have a arts degree. You are looking for jobs which you are much to over qualified for, but just cant find a job. How ironic.

I think right now I am just hitting a really large rough patch, being unemployed, christmas, and graduated. But look, you went to Europe this summer! If only things were as good as they were in june. How 6 months does something to you.

Look here. Yes at this vague thing. Yeah I know what went on, the jig is up. Did you really think you could escape with that story? confront me about it, or disappear. I FUCKING DARE YOU.

im not sure your ready, and i dont think anything can change. everything hurts and i just dont want to think about this right now

lurking

i feel like i have some sort of insomnia and my throat hurts really bad, i dont want to get sick at all. why cant i sleep. this will all backfire soon.

Flaming

im buring out from school and work. im only taking 3 classes but they are the most intest ive ever been in at once time. second week in and i skipped class this morning. who needs to learn about this Vicksomething psychology man anyways? i dont think im going to be doing this school thing again in the summer. i mean ill say that but i most definatly need the credits, if i want to try to do this on time ish. i just dont want to be past 22 and still be finishing. im not sure what this rush is, i mean i work and go to school with 30 year somethings every day. is it the fact i never want to become them? am i rushing threw my last chance at being able to be reckless and stupid. Once this is over what will i be able to say. i entered university when i was still 17 almost 18 years old and graduates when i was 22? i dont even know what i want to do with my life and im pursuing this. people say you just figure out what you are destined for, and when people of the older persuasion ask me what im going to do when i get out of school, i just tell them be happy. what if this is a waste and i wind up being one of those housewive mother types that goes back to school when shes 46 destined to be a social worker becuase he could never find her passion. im passionate about art, i just dont know what im doing ending my second year with a soc major sometimes. where can art get me? i dont spend enough time painting to do anything with it yet. its an expensive hobby.

ill figure it all out by the time this is over